Truth Or Dare
by musical-gerbil
Summary: The whole gang, at the Cullen house, trapped inside on a rainy night. Add some boredom, and throw in Emmett’s competitiveness, Bella’s clumsy streak, Rosalie’s vanity, Alice’s quirky sense of humour, Edward’s protectiveness, Jasper’s naivety and Carlisle
1. Chapter 1

Truth Or Dare?

Summary: The whole gang, at the Cullen house, trapped inside on a rainy night. Add some boredom, and throw in Emmett's competitiveness, Bella's clumsy streak, Rosalie's vanity, Alice's quirky sense of humour, Edward's protectiveness, Jasper's naivety and Carlisle and Esme both in a playful mood. Oh, and I almost forgot. A game of Truth or Dare.

Disclaimer: musicalgerbil: nil. Stephenie Meyer: the whole world: aka Bella, Edward, you know… all my characters basically. If you sue me, you can take any debts I manage to incur, but I'm, keeping my copy of Twilight, my laptop, and soon-to-be mine copy of New Moon!

This is dedicated to my best friend, _snoopy-gal_. Yes, you, gerbil.

**_Everyone, please review! Or no next chapter…. I need at least 10!_**

_**Isabella Marie Swan, Forks, 6:07 PM**_

It was raining, too cold and wet for Emmett to even entertain hopes of playing baseball. Thank God. That meant I could just stay inside, safe (relatively) from most kinds of disasters involving sporting equipment, rocks, and Emmett too.

Oh, and I could lounge around and listen to Edward play the piano. It was one of those perfect evenings, where I could sit and hum along with my lullaby, and dream of the (hopefully) not so distant future when I wasn't clumsy, and could spend forever with Edward.

Of course, I should have known better. Everyone had gone for a feed earlier in the day, and they were all in great moods. Alice and Emmett, both in great moods, never boded well for me. It normally involved a lot of running, screaming, (in my case) falling, and Edward ending up locking me in my truck while Emmett and Alice tried to distract him.

I could only hope they didn't make me run down the stairs again. My knees were still bruised from the last time we played hide-and-seek. Sure, Rosalie sniffed and called us childish, but she normally ended up joining in despite herself. I never found her though. Alice was the only one who ever found her or Edward.

I winced at the imaginary degree of pain I was bound to be in after roughly twenty minutes. It never lasted long, because they could smell me wherever I hid, and I normally ended up falling over before I could even find one of them, and then Edward stopped our game.

When I heard Emmett barrelling down the stairs, I was half and half, anticipation versus common sense. Common sense was telling me to run, far, far away, while anticipation was telling me that no matter how much it hurt or was terribly humiliating, the games were still fun, and that running away was going to prove just as disastrous as the game. Since my intelligence and common sense were severely lacking, I stood up as soon as Emmett entered the room, prepared to run (and fall) as soon as he started counting.

He never did. Rosalie flounced in after him then Alice came bouncing down. Jasper followed her, a pained look on his face. Carlisle and Esme came in too, and I sat down. Edward had stopped playing, and I was instinctively frightened.

With Alice grinning, and Emmett smirking, all I could think was:

_Shit. I'm going to die_.

**_Edward Anthony Cullen, Forks, 6:15 PM_**

When I saw Alice's grin and Emmett's smirk, I was instantly on my guard. Over forty years of experience had taught me to be wary of both the grin and smirk, and the past months with Bella thrown in the mix, I was even more edgy. Then there was that odd twinkle in Carlisle's eyes, and Esme's slight smile.

Okay, I admit it. Yes, I was frightened. Very frightened.

Rosalie looked impassive as usual, and Jasper merely looked pained. He looked like he was suffering from a human ailment, usually induced by eating too much junk food. Constipation, my memory seemed to offer as a diagnosis.

Everyone settled in, silently. That was a danger sign, one that I should have acknowledged immediately, and removed Bella and myself from the vicinity as quickly as possible. Stupid me, of course, thought, _oh_, _what could happen?_

Famous last words, because I was doomed when I left the piano stool to sit on the couch. Doomed.

_**Carlisle Cullen, Forks, 6:17 PM**_

Edward looked wary, and rightly so. Bella looked a little confused, also rightly so.

When Alice had suggested this human game as a pastime for tonight, I was rather intrigued. The concept was highly interesting, and I could foresee much amusement in the course of the evening.

There were six distinctive personalities involved, and Esme and I.

Yes, I was looking forward to much amusement.

_**Esme Cullen, Forks, 6:18 PM**_

Carlisle was anticipative, and Edward looked particularly frightened. I could scarcely blame him. Alice's description of this human game had also frightened me. Emmett had looked positively gleeful, Rosalie had raised her eyebrows, Jasper had looked pained, and Carlisle had asked many questions.

Poor Bella was looking confused. Alice stood up and clapped her hands, although all attention had been on her from the beginning. She had been recognised as the instigator from the moment she walked into the room. It was no wonder.

_**Emmett Cullen, Forks, 6:19 PM**_

This was shaping up to be a great evening. Bella already looked scared, and we'd only been in the room for about nine minutes. That was close to the record for the shortest time it took, although she'd looked scared from the moment I'd started smirking.

Alice was looking at us, with her 'evil' grin on her face. Edward looked edgy, and had dragged Bella into his lap. Bella looked positively terrified. "Tonight, we are playing a game," Alice said grandiosely. I couldn't help but snort.

Alice shot me a death glare and went on. "We shall be playing a human game." Here, she shot a glance at Bella. "One that I am led to believe has caused numerous kinds of disasters." Bella paled noticeably. Edward's grip around her waist tightened. I snickered, and Rosalie poked me. "Keep going," Esme said.

"Tonight," Alice said, clapping her hands together. "We shall be playing Truth or Dare."

_**Edward Anthony Cullen, Forks, 6:21 PM**_

I wasn't an idiot. I'd heard of Truth or Dare, mostly from the minds of teenagers traumatised by it. Bella's horror was enough to convince me that playing this game with my family wasn't a good idea, if my preconceived notion wasn't enough.

"Carlisle, as oldest, you get to choose first," Alice directed before I had a chance to grab Bella and run, as far away and as fast as I could. "You pick someone and they choose either Truth or Dare, and then if they say Truth, you can ask them any question you like, or if they pick Dare, you can make them do whatever strikes your fancy."

Carlisle looked positively gleeful as he scanned the room. Who would have thought that a brilliant mind, over three and a half hundred years old, would be excited by something so barbaric?

His gaze settled on Jasper and I felt Bella relax slightly against me. We were safe. For this round at least.

_**Jasper Hale, Forks, 6:23 PM**_

Carlisle had a glint in his eye and I could sense the anticipation from everyone in the room. This was going to go pear-shaped. Fast.

"Truth or dare, Jasper?" he asked. Truth seemed the answer that common sense was demanding I take. "Truth," I said. Alice seemed to deflate slightly, but even that couldn't make me turn my back on self-preservation. Carlisle considered for a minute or so. "What is the most human thing you've ever done?"

I must have gaped, because Bella snorted and Emmett was laughing at me. "Carlisle, couldn't you have asked something a little more…" her nose wrinkled slightly. "Humiliating?"

"_More_ humiliating?" I demanded, leaping to my feet. "You know perfectly well that that is humiliating enough!" Alice was shaking with silent laughter, but I was getting embarrassed and losing my cool. _Me_!

Esme looked torn between laughter and worry and Rosalie was smirking. Edward looked sympathetic. Bella was looking amused and Emmett was still laughing. Damn older siblings! Damn them all to hell! Well, not that they can die… but still! It's the thought that counts!

Carlisle just looked satisfied. "I believe that is a human trait that carried over," he told everyone. "He is rather easily flustered. Now, Alice, what happens next?"

"It's Jasper's turn," she said. I sat down, somewhat placated.

_**Alice Cullen, Forks, 6:31 PM**_

This was getting interesting. I was getting flashes of everyone in some rather funny, compromising situations, and wanted it to hurry along. Please, whoever Jasper chooses, pick dare!

Jasper was looking around the room and he had a familiar, evil glint in his eyes. I shivered in anticipation. Carlisle seemed a little apprehensive. Jasper might choose to take revenge. I snickered quietly. My family was so weird.

"Edward." I heard Bella giggle and Emmett chuckle. Jasper was looking at Edward with a sly grin on his face. "Truth or dare?"

Edward obviously heard the challenge in his voice and rose to it (magnificently, in my opinion) with a resounding "Dare.'

YES!

_**Rosalie Hale, Forks, 6:34 PM**_

I'd seen the damage this game could do. Especially to humans. Seven vampires thrown in the mix was like putting a spanner in some kind of machine in a production line. In simple terms, I would have to say that this was going to turn into a disaster area, and fast.

Not that I was looking forward to it or anything, but I was interested to hear what Jasper had in plan for dear Edward. It was bound to be good, especially after the humiliation of Jasper's weakness being put out.

I was excited, okay? So was everyone else. Jasper opened his mouth to tell Edward his dare.

(And then the stupid author changed the POV! Hehehe)

_**Emmett Cullen, Forks, 6:35 PM**_

The look in Jasper's eyes would have made any sane person run for the hills. Of course, Edward wasn't a sane person. He was a lunatic of a vampire, and one who was about to be humiliated. Badly.

And I was so looking forward to it. I could hold it over him when he decided to start bragging about catching me out every time we played ball. Jasper's mouth was half open, and his eyes were glinting evilly, and Edward was trying to look brave. Bella was giggling helplessly, Rosalie was smirking and Alice was bouncing slightly in her seat. Carlisle and Esme merely looked curious.

Jasper spoke. "Edward, I dare you to…"

HAHAHAHA! CLIFFIE!

Now remember, 10 reviews before you get the next chapter!

musical-gerbil


	2. Chapter 2

Truth Or Dare?

Chapter 2!

Summary: The whole gang, at the Cullen house, trapped inside on a rainy night. Add some boredom, and throw in Emmett's competitiveness, Bella's clumsy streak, Rosalie's vanity, Alice's quirky sense of humour, Edward's protectiveness, Jasper's naivety and Carlisle and Esme both in a playful mood. Oh, and I almost forgot. A game of Truth or Dare.

Disclaimer: musicalgerbil: nil. Stephenie Meyer: the whole world: aka Bella, Edward, you know… all my characters basically. If you sue me, you can take any debts I manage to incur, but I'm, keeping my copy of Twilight, my laptop, and soon-to-be mine copy of New Moon!

This is dedicated to my best friend, _snoopy-gal_, and all those who reviewed! Yes, you, gerbil.

Responses to reviews are at the bottom! You're all gonna hate me after this chapter…

**_Everyone, please review! Or no next chapter…. I need at least 15 this time!_**

_**Edward Anthony Cullen, Forks, 6:36 PM**_

Oh, Jasper was going to die. I was going to find some way to kill him. Forget the ripping to shreds and burning, he was going to _suffer_! As much as was vampirely possible, and I was going to watch with an evil, enjoying-the-pain-of-others grin upon my face.

And I _would_ enjoy it. Extremely.

It would be a just reward for the torture he was inflicting and I couldn't refuse. He was going to hold it over my head for the rest of our insanely long lives if I chickened out. I was _not_ about to let that happen. No, I wasn't going to let him do that. I was going to do this dare, and _then_ I could kill Jasper, run away with Bella, become human and…

Oh, who was I kidding? I was going to be utterly humiliated.

_**Isabella Marie Swan, Forks, 6:37 PM**_

Edward was slowly getting more rigid. I couldn't help but giggle. Jasper was a genius. A real, true genius. A vampire streaker? Positively evil, and one that I was going to enjoy watching. From the shadows of course. Everyone else with their perfect, unblushing faces could stand in full view and watch, but I would just take a backseat and occasionally peek. Then I would turn beet-red.

"Now," Jasper directed. "No mask or anything, and you have to run at a _human_ pace, so everyone can take the time to properly appreciate the humiliation being visited upon you." I snorted. Involuntarily. I was on Edward's side! I swear!

_**Carlisle Cullen, Forks, 6:40 PM**_

I was rather proud of Jasper's genius. Of course, humiliation was playing a part in his desire for revenge, even though it was mostly my fault. I had never really heard of this term 'streaking' before, yet Bella's and the others' reactions seemed to suggest that it would be highly amusing.

I was at a loss as to why we were going into town to do this part of the dare though.

"To maximise humiliation, Carlisle," Edward said darkly. "To maximise it to all sorts of people." "I'll go get Bella a raincoat," Alice volunteered and she raced upstairs. Bella had only just got up when Alice returned. She put the raincoat on and everyone left the house. Edward was carrying Bella as we ran towards town.

Jasper was in the lead and he stopped us in a rather 'posh' area of Forks.

_**Emmett Cullen, Forks, 6:52 PM**_

Poor Edward. This was going to be utterly humiliating, and completely hilarious. He put Bella down and then proceeded to pull his clothes off and run (very slowly for us) down the street. Bella had covered her eyes and was peeking when she thought we wouldn't notice.

Jasper was laughing, Carlisle and Esme looked aghast, Rosalie and Alice were giggling hysterically, and me, well… I've gotta say that I was feeling sorry for him. It would have been worse if he was human.

"Now scream like a good little girl!" Jasper called.

_**Edward Anthony Cullen, Forks, 6:57 PM**_

I heard Jasper and gritted my teeth. Bastard.

"I am the lizard king!" I shouted reluctantly and started waving my arms. There were faces at windows, and I could hear their thoughts.

_What a man…_

_He's got great abs…_

_Ooh! Is that one of the Cullens?_

_Am I gay if I'm thinking 'Damn, he's well endowed!'?_

_Lucky Bella Swan…_

Okay, I'd had enough. This is humiliation enough.

Jasper was going to _PAY_!

_**Alice Cullen, Forks, 7:04 PM**_

He scooped the still giggling Bella up and began going back towards the house. Emmett slapped Jasper a high-five. "The lizard king thing was a nice touch," he said. Jasper was laughing. "I know."

This was turning out better than I had imagined. Streaking Edward? I would have to congratulate Jasper on that later. Truly inspired. The inevitable revenge was going to be good though. I'm sure Edward will get Jasper some time throughout the night.

We were back at the house soon, and settled back in the lounge. Most of us were still snickering. Jasper looked at Edward. "Your turn," he said, knowing perfectly well that he wouldn't waste his first turn on getting revenge.

His next words surprised everyone. "Rosalie."

_**Rosalie Hale, Forks, 7:10 PM**_

"Truth or Dare, Rose?"

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.

I knew that this was going to happen, and I still laughed at him. I _knew_ that he was going to get me, and I still dug myself a deeper hole.

Stupid. Damn my blonde hair.

"Dare."

I had absolutely so sense of self-preservation. Edward's grin was frightening. It reminded me why exactly I hated games like this that provided ample opportunities for payback.

"Wait," Esme said. "Before we get into this, I'm going to get Bella some food."

"No, no!" Bella said. "I'm quite alright."

"That's a great idea, Esme!" I said delightedly. "Don't be such a martyr, Bella." Her stricken look was funny, and everyone looked at me like I'd grown another head. Which I was about to do if Edward made me do what I think he was going to. Or my normal one was about to fall off. Either way worked.

Esme smiled at me and bustled into the kitchen. Everyone was staring and I stared back. "What?"

**_Carlisle Cullen, Forks, 7:16 PM_**

How peculiar. Rosalie… thinking about it confused me. Esme came bustling back in with a bowl of potato crisps, a glass of cola and a chocolate bar. She placed them on a tray and handed it to Bella. "Thanks," Bella replied.

Everyone was still gaping at Rosalie. "So, what's Rosalie's dare, Edward?" Alice asked eagerly. "Don't keep us waiting!"

"Well," Edward said. "Rosalie…"

ANOTHER CLIFFIE! And sorry about the length. The next one will be much longer!

I want another 30 reviews before the next chapter!

REVIEWER RESPONSES:

… : Well, thank you very much! I was amazed at how quickly people reviewed! I posted it and then less than an hour later, there were five reviews! Hope you like this chapter!

londongirl016: moohaha. (confused…) anyways, hope what jasper made Edward do was to your satisfaction… I personally would have loved to have seen it!

Alison: I'm glad that you like my story! Vampires can make it so much more interesting…

danamarin: Yes, vampire truth or dare should turn out much more interesting than plain human truth or dare… especially when you add Bella!

Vetcher: Well, poor Edward. I don't think he liked his dare very much, do you?

MiniNirvana: Heya gerbils. 11, did yours still not let you review? That sucks. Anyway, I had to cut the horse bit, sorry! Glad you liked it! XOY!

Warui-Usagi: Glad you think it's good! I'm just so happy with the response so far! Enjoy!

twilightfan123: Thanks for the tip. I've gone through and made sure that I didn't repeat too much. Hope this one is a bit better!

passionfornight: Oooh! Squirrels! That has the makings for something fun… just wait until I've finished the story before you set them on me! I'm so happy that everyone seems to like this!

NellieGURL: Well, here you go! the next one should be up soon too if I keep getting this response to my chapters!

abbey butterfield: It's just a part of the style I'm writing this is. I'll try and not change it so often, but keeping it on Bella wouldn't give it the feel I'm aiming for! Thanks for the review anyway!

Darth Vyper: I just _love_ cliffies! Only when I'm writing them though. I hate reading stories with them! Is Edward's dare humiliation enough?

javajunkie101: Quickly enough for you? Review again!

Lillylildrop: Thank you! I love hearing people enjoy my writing!

BubblyLit: Thank you so much for the flattering review! I salute you back for making me feel all warm and fuzzy! Hehehe.

emma: I couldn't stop writing if I tried! Hope you like this next instalment as much as the first! Sorry about the cliffies… grins sheepishly I couldn't help it!

Vinestar: I know! I was hysterical when I saw the amount! Here's the next bit!

-Nikki-: I love this dare… hope you do too!

Lynn: I'm glad I made you laugh! I hope this one makes you laugh too!

wolfliebe: Thank you! I'm still overwhelmed by the response to this fic! I love you all!

ylfcwen: You know, I approve of your logic! I'll try and get the third one up as soon as possible!

Morningstripe: Well, here's some more! I love everyone that's reviewed, and hopefully will keep on reviewing!

StoriesNeverEnding: ENJOY!

Frodosarrow: Was this quick enough? Hope so!

Deepredruby: I'm sorry! But cliffhangers are just so damn _evil_ and that's what I am…

AbstractStar: Oh, poor Edward… he's been humiliated beyond belief now!

Appy4la: Yeah, Edward is doomed… wait to see what happens later in the story! And I hope you like this cliffie too!

Dark-Wiccan-Goddess: Ooh, I know! I'm just so happy with the response! Here's the next one!

chopperchick123: Glad to hear it! I hope you like the rest of the story as well!


	3. Chapter 3

Truth Or Dare?

Chapter 3!

Summary: The whole gang, at the Cullen house, trapped inside on a rainy night. Add some boredom, and throw in Emmett's competitiveness, Bella's clumsy streak, Rosalie's vanity, Alice's quirky sense of humour, Edward's protectiveness, Jasper's naivety and Carlisle and Esme both in a playful mood. Oh, and I almost forgot. A game of Truth or Dare.

Disclaimer: musicalgerbil: nil. Stephenie Meyer: the whole world: aka Bella, Edward, you know… all my characters basically. If you sue me, you can take any debts I manage to incur, but I'm, keeping my copy of Twilight, my laptop, and soon-to-be mine copy of New Moon!

Oh, and the rating goes up in this one. There's a rather nasty bit with Rosalie talking about revenge. Edward may need protection.

For no other reason than a private joke, shared with certain select people, this is dedicated to the 69th reviewer, **Pawfoot**! Congratulations!

Responses to reviews are at the bottom!

**_Everyone, please review! Or no next chapter…. I need at least another 30 this time!_**

_**Jasper Hale, Forks, 7:17PM**_

Poor Rosalie. Edward was seriously pissed, and now he got to make her do anything that struck his fancy. I'd felt bad until I heard what Edward wanted her to do. It was way below the bar, and couldn't possibly be my fault.

I mean, my dare was evil and everything, but Edward was being _diabolical_!

Even Alice looked shocked, and she had to be the most innately diabolical of us all. Could you imagine _Rosalie_ wearing a wig, white foundation, hooker blue eyeshadow, bright red lipstick, a miniskirt, fishnets and combat boots?

Well, Edward obviously could, and I had a feeling that the night was only beginning.

**_Isabella Marie Swan, Forks, 7:19 PM_**

It had been a while since anyone had spoken. The makeup and suspicious, artfully created stains were bad enough. A mini, fishnets and _combat boots_! Did Edward have no compassion? She'd look like a slut, but even worse, she'd look like she had fat calves!

So what that I didn't like her. I wouldn't wish this kind of thing on anyone! Not to mention the amount of people that were going to be at this party we were supposedly crashing. This was involving a hell of a lot of trips into town. Two already, and there had only been two dares!

Esme looked confused as to what the fuss about the mini and combat boots was about, and Rosalie was ranting and raving, Alice was looking sympathetic, and Carlisle looked a little lost.

Now, the chaos had begun.

_**Rosalie Hale, Forks, 7:23 PM**_

I hate Edward. I. HATE. EDWARD.

A miniskirt, fishnet stockings, and combat boots. I could have dealt with the makeup. I could deal with looking like a complete slut, so long as I could have looked _somewhat_ classy. But _no_! I have to wear a MINISKIRT!

A MINISKIRT, AND FISHNETS, AND GODDAMNED **COMBAT BOOTS**!

With _stains_ on the skirt, and whatever slutty top I was supposed to wear. _Stains_!

For the icing on the cake, we were crashing a party. A party full of posh townspeople and goddamned everything else! Oh, I wanted to bare my teeth and growl, and then leap at Edward and shove his family jewels under the lid of that beloved piano of his and slam the lid down on them repeatedly.

Yes, **Edward**! Take that! I know you're listening, so **LA DI _FUCKING_ DA! **Your balls are going to **_DIE_**!

See how that precious piano sounds when you play it with splatters of penis and tiny little tadpole things all in the hammers and whatever else is in that mess of crap!

Oh, he was going to die. Sure, he was going to kill Jasper, but I was going to get him right after that. And once his balls were splattered inside the piano, I think I'd make him dress like a woman and parade around the school on Sports Day with skin tight shorts so they could see his lack of private parts. Oh, yes. In the sun so everyone thought he had some weird kind of shimmer powder on!

Are you listening? I hope so, because I **HATE** you!

I was going to make the bastard pay for this at some stage of the night. But first, I had to get through the dare, and then have my payback on the instigator of this idiotic game.

Yes, Alice, I'd watch yourself if I was you.

Act all nice and sympathetic, but death was inevitable.

_**Edward Anthony Cullen, Forks, 7:25 PM**_

I was rather proud of myself. Attacking Rosalie's vanity like that. A very smart move. She couldn't get me straight away, and I would have plenty of ammunition for if she did. Nifty little things, aren't cameras?

Her thoughts are pretty interesting too. I may have to keep myself away from the piano while she's in the vicinity.

I am utterly, completely diabolical. I think I even did Alice proud, which is definitely an accomplishment, and this was going to be amazingly hysterical. Lucky I pay attention at school, and take note of when all these parties are going to be. Perfect for games such as this. It was definitely a way to prove manliness.

Jasper had one of his panic attack things, and I'd streaked, naked down the street. Emmett hadn't done anything. Who was the biggest man here? Well, I only see one, and I'm looking in the mirror!

Ha!

I'd have to make sure Rosalie didn't get Bella though. That would be just like her.

I hid Bella slightly behind me. No matter that Rose had already seen her. You know, blondes and all that… Alice tugged her up the stairs.

"The skankification is commencing!" Bella whispered in my ear and I snorted.

Skankification. Hmmm. Interesting. Maybe I should caption these photos… a gossip magazine may like them…

_**Esme Cullen, Forks, 7:38 PM**_

Poor Rosalie. She came down the stairs and looked remarkably like a prostitute. Edward would have to watch his back, I think. The sparks in her eyes seemed to suggest that payback of some form was going to be headed his way, and fairly soon.

Alice was right, this game was certainly amusing. I did not relish when it was my turn, however. I think Truth would be a more appropriate choice for me. I think Carlisle may take the same route, but I highly doubt any of the others will take the coward's road.

For once, I'm glad that it is very hard for us vampires to die.

If it wasn't, I have a feeling that Edward, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie and Alice would all either be dead or in gaol by the end of the night.

_**Alice Cullen, Forks, 7:40 PM**_

This is hilarious. Rosalie looks like a real prostitute, and the stains look like she's had some recent, raunchy fun. She's going to attempt to kill Edward, and I have an odd feeling that she might make a move on my life too.

At least my vision had already happened, so nothing majorly bad was going to happen after this. I'd cacked myself laughing when I'd had the vision of Edward streaking. I'd fallen out of the tree we were playing hide and seek in, and hadn't stopped laughing for a good fifteen minutes.

Esme thought I'd cracked my skull open and was having some kind of fit and insisted that Carlisle make sure I hadn't hurt myself before she remembered that we were vampires. Hah, that was funny. She does that a lot. Rosalie looks in mirrors a lot.

If I was her, I'd be avoiding all mirrors before her dare was over. As a matter of fact, I think that she's going to do that anyway. Somehow, she still manages to look attractive. Just focus on her from the neck up and she looks like she just let a clown makeup artist loose on her face, but any lower and you would know that a guy gave the dare.

Even I wouldn't visit the humiliation of a mini and combat boots upon vain, pain-in-the-ass Rose. Edward would, and he has. Shit, this was fun, but I think Edward should be fearful for both the symbols of his manhood and his life.

_**Jasper Hale, Forks, 8:07 PM**_

If vampires could piss, I think I would have pissed myself laughing. Rosalie parading around the party in her hooker getup had to be one of the funniest things I have ever seen, and ever would see. Sure, Edward's streaking was top of the list at the moment, but Rose had to be getting in at a close second.

Alice and Bella were giggling, Esme still looked alarmed. Emmett was attempting to console Rose and Carlisle was having a mental conversation with Edward. Probably arranging for him to leave for Alaska immediately. I'd heard the hoots and wolf-whistling, but the laughter and jeering was louder, and I wasn't inclined to think that Rose would forgive Edward for a very, very, very long time.

After all, the vainest vampire ever, dressed as a prostitute and paraded around in a party?

Would you forgive the person that dared you to do that?

I didn't think so.

_**Carlisle Cullen, Forks, 8:09 PM**_

I truly felt sorry for Rosalie. I felt even _more_ sorry for Edward. He was in immediate danger of his life.

Wait a moment… what was she doing? She was meant to choose Edward!

What could she possibly want to do to Alice?

_**Alice Cullen, Forks, 8:10 PM**_

What the hell was Rose thinking? I hadn't done anything to her!

I was honestly surprised she knew what a schizophrenic with Tourettes and amnesia would do, let alone what all the words _meant_! The world is no longer the same, when blondes know things like this.

I went into this place all the time, though! This would jeopardise my whole shopping routine! I would never be able to show my face in this place ever again, and it had so many things that I had yet to buy!

This would lower her even lower in my eyes. How she could do this… she was pure evil.

Damn late night shopping when I decided to play Truth or Dare. Damn it to the fiery pits of Hell.

_**Emmett Cullen, Forks, 8:11 PM**_

Rose was happy for the moment, seeing Alice squirm. Thank God. Poor Alice though. This would traumatise her into not coming into this shop ever again. Poor shop, too. This would cut at least a quarter of their yearly income.

"Rosalie Hale, what the hell did I do to you to deserve this?" Alice demanded. Rose smirked.

"Started this game."

Oooh, now it was on.

Okay, first are two responses from the first chapter (yet they made references to the second chapter…) go to:

**Captain Raven Roth:** Well, I'm just a bit scared by the werewolves. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as you did the other two! What about poor Alice?

**Mrs Longbottom118:** I'm glad I made you laugh, Megan! I do it enough unintentionally, it's good to know it works when I mean to do it! Enjoy!

Now onto those lovely people who reviewed chapter 2…

**Snoopy-gal:** Well, I talk to you at school and give you hugs for the lovely reviews and you know that I just _lurve_ cliffies! And so does Sam… hehehe. Thanks for letting everyone know what was happening with the extended holiday thing! Lub ya gerbil!

**Morningstripe:** The lizard king thing has a bit of a story behind it, mostly with truth or dare games between my cousins, a couple of friends, and me. I'm happy that everyone seems to find it so funny! It's hilarious to see my big, tall, macho cousin running down the street in women's underwear, (the bra stuffed with socks) shrieking 'I am the Lizard King!' Very funny indeed. Especially when we got it on film!

**Alison: **I'm glad I made you laugh. Having a good cackle away on a bad day makes everything better! And oh, wasn't Rosalie in trouble? I loved writing this chapter!

**Cookiedoughmunchkin: **Why, thankyou! Hope you enjoyed the third chapter just as much! It was a lot of fun to write!

**Boys wanna be her: **Yes, Bella was going snicker-snicker in her little corner… so was I! my muses were torn between horror and amusement.

**Danamarin: **Yes, Rosalie was doomed from the very beginning! I think everyone was, on second thought. Especially Edward and Rosalie. I'm not spoiling anything for Bella though.

**Darth Vyper:** I'm glad you enjoyed! The ice princess got her comeuppance and I'm so very sorry about the cliffies! Did this extra long chapter make up for it? I hope so!

**Miss. Lexi:** Thanks!

**MiniNirvana:** Well, now that we've got this identity issue cleared up, I can reply properly. I really do recommend reading the book! Steal xtine's, coz Amelia has mine! Bubi!

**Wolfliebe: **Most readers dislike cliffies. I wonder why… hehehe. I'm so evil! I'm sorry for making you wait! Hope this is worth it!

**Passionfornight**: I am cruel. And just to let you know, I've read some of your work! It's great! I haven't go around to reviewing it yet, but just thought I'd let you know! I LOVE Boxers or Briefs. Both ones! I'm humbled I have such a good author reading and reviewing my work! PLEASE don't set the squirrels on me! runs and hides behind random person, who walks away looking disgusted

**AbstractStar:** Don't die on me! Here's another chapter! forcefeeds

**NellieGURL:** Poor Rosalie… not really, because I enjoyed writing this chapter almost as much as the Lizard King bit. Enjoy!

**Tigerlily91:** I love hearing that I made people laugh! I love hearing that people love my work even more!

**Lillylildrop:** So sorry about the chapter length. Does this one meet it better? Thanks for the review, and adding me to the favourites! I'm still hysterical about the response this has got!

**Frodosarrow: **Edward's streaking came to me in a fit of inspiration. It was quite funny, actually. It involved a rather rude memory centred around several teenagers, and one hell of a lot of sugar and caffeine. Oh, and a bra and some socks! You make the connections! (read the response to **morningstripe's** review.)

**Justalittleobsessed:** Why thank you! blushes

**Addicted2Life:** I have plenty of ideas in my warped mind, don't you worry! Hopefully you keep falling out of your chair, because it means I'm doing something right!

**Chelsea:** Thank you very much!

**Appy4la:** That's what I love to hear, that I'm doing the characters a bit of justice! I hope you enjoy this one just as much!

**BubblyLit:** Hi Kristin! No problem. I think the lack of mischief with the nakedness/madness was partly due to Esme and Carlisle's presence. Even though the streaking went ahead, they were still a reining influence. Just wait until they're out of the picture… if I decide to do that… hehehe. Bella's gonna get her turn soon enough…

**The Sin they called Pride:** Yes, Edward can borrow the title for a little while… although I think my cousin may want it back next time we play Truth or Dare. Probably at my sixteenth, which isn't so far away…

**Deepredruby:** Everyone hates my cliffies! WAH! But I'm glad you thought it worth the wait! 

**-Nikki-:** I do try!

**SyD:** I hope this classifies as soon! I don't like pissed reviewers, coz they don't review!

**Cyclone Alchemist: **Yes, please, tell your friends! I'm glad you love it!

**No lies i am what i am:** I love hearing stuff like this! Hope you're along for the ride now!

**Freak**: It boggled me too. Took a while to get ride of fuzzy censor-vision, but it was worth it!

**Warui-Usagi: **I'll try and keep future chapters as long as possible, but you understand that the first two were written in a matter of a few hours or so, between sports practice and numerous family gatherings… they all infringe on my writing time!

**Howdoesitfeel:** Glad to hear that you like! Enjoy this one too!

**Silver-kitsune223:** Hope you didn't hurt yourself! Edward's dare was extremely fun to write. I hope you like Rosalie's and Alice's just as much!

**Chopperchick123:** A better description of Edward would have been great! LOL. I'm glad you liked it.

**Ylfcwen: **Don't worry, my family thinks I'm nuts already, and my best friend's parents quite literally thought she was having a fit when she read it. I'm glad that everyone found it so amusing!

**Pawfoot**: Congratulations! You were my 69th reviewer! Sorry, but I had to acknowledge it. Part of an ongoing tradition! I think Jasper deserves an award, and Edward too!

**Senorita Carbon: **Now, now, if you eat my soul, I won't be able to write **ANY** more chapters! Glad you liked it!

**xMikoxMiix:** Laughing so hard your side hurt? Very nice. I love it when my reviewers find it so funny it's physically painful. A contrast, isn't it?

**TwilightSnowStar:** My muses are tickled pink! And I'm blushing! Thank you!

Discreetly hands _TwilightSnowStar_ a tissue to clean up drool

**BlueFlowerRedThorn:** Ah, the sock puppet threat. I'm terribly sorry about the wait! Holds out hands in peace gesture SPARE ME!

**Cad: **Thanks for the review!

**Mashed Potatoes and Gravy:** Oh, but I love everyone that's reviewing! Is Rosalie's dare to your satisfaction?

**S.Atkins:** Thank you!

**Midnight Mist01:** I'm glad you liked it enough to review! My cliffies just ensure people review to get the next bit. Thank you for taking the time and breaking the chain!

**Egyptian-Fire:** I think that's why I love writing it. It's a light-hearted bit of fun with characters that are normally serious or fighting for their lives against other bloodthirsty vampires. Thanks!

**MagicXheart: **This is a fanfic. I can do whatever I like, and at the moment, they're playing truth or dare. Hide and seek is another idea I'm planning to do, but having them use their talents would ruin the novelty of the game. I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

**Jordanne: **Enjoy!

**Makotojinx:** Why thank you! blushes… again

**Alison:** I love hearing these things about my story!

**Carla: **I think that's a mutual dream!

**Snoopy-gal: **Thanks a million! It probably didn't work, and I'm still gonna be hated, but at least we tried! Luv ya!

**0TwistedAngel0: **Laughter is a good sign!

**RaiLei:** Here's the next bit!

**Miriam: **I fully intend to! However, due to sports, school and family commitments, I'm a little slow! I hope everyone sticks with me!

**Flippin sweet Twilight love…: **Here, here it is! Shrinks away from capital letters in terror

**Somyluck: **I've been told I have a twisted, warped, evil, disgusting, vile, wicked, sinful sense of humour before, but never a wonderful one! Thank you so much! And for calling this a masterpiece! I feel right up there with Shakespeare now from all this praise! grabs pin and bursts gradually growing ego along with by now enormous head


	4. Chapter 4

Truth Or Dare?

Chapter 3!

Summary: The whole gang, at the Cullen house, trapped inside on a rainy night. Add some boredom, and throw in Emmett's competitiveness, Bella's clumsy streak, Rosalie's vanity, Alice's quirky sense of humour, Edward's protectiveness, Jasper's naivety and Carlisle and Esme both in a playful mood. Oh, and I almost forgot. A game of Truth or Dare.

Disclaimer: musicalgerbil: nil. Stephenie Meyer: the whole world: aka Bella, Edward, you know… all my characters basically. If you sue me, you can take any debts I manage to incur, but I'm keeping my copy of Twilight, my laptop, and my treasured, dog-eared copy of New Moon!

The rating's high in this one, because Alice's dare involves several words that should not be heard by young ears. In fact, I'd recommend this for people who grew up exposed to South Park, Jackass, Wildboyz, Viva La Bam, and drunk parents, and definitely not people under thirteen. In fact, I'd probably say that even people my age shouldn't be reading this, but that would be kinda contradictory because I'm the one writing it… Definitely M13+. There's couple of f words, and some rather compromising situations coming up.

I'm getting steadily more influenced by bad stuff as this story is progressing! Mildly violent sock puppets, squirrels, and stalkers… I'm blaming the reviewers. You know who you are!

I've had too much sugar and bad food. The day I wrote this, snoopy-gal and her mother had helped me ruin my diet. Thanks Mummy!

Rosalie's already had her outburst at Edward, who at this moment is cowering in the corner, protectively holding his package in the safety of the walls. Rosalie is standing by the piano, waiting for the temptation to become too much, and then she's going to pounce.

My muses, and best friend, are having a field day with this. Edward's balls have already told me that they're frightened. I had to give them a pay raise so that they'd agree to stay in the story! Scaredy-balls.

Anyways, onto the next chapter, before I'm killed by readers who still haven't forgiven me for the vacation thing and not updating for close to four weeks…

My heartfelt apologies, guys! I love you!

_**Rosalie Hale, Forks, 8:13 PM**_

Haha. Alice was so going to die of humiliation. This store was upmarket, fabulously posh, and full of delightful clothes.

And now, she would never be able to shop here again.

All thanks to me and my diabolical genius.

YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYES!

_**Isabella Marie Swan, Forks, 8:17 PM**_

Okay. Alice was venturing _into_ the shop, limping heavily with a rather convincing twitch in the left side of her face. "Mother fucker!" she hissed. "Cock sucking, fugly whore!"

If looks were flaming daggers, Rosalie would be charred, fat free chicken breast. It only served to heighten the illusion of Alice's madness, however, as Rosalie browsed around casually, pretending to ignore Alice.

My fingernails were digging into Edward's hand, but he was looking wickedly pleased with himself. Which, in itself, was rather odd, considering that Alice was suffering because of what he did to Rosalie. Were I her, I would be inclined to get Edward back next round.

Of course, she probably has other plans. One never knows with Alice. She is either frighteningly clever or stupidly brave most of the time. Though, I have to admit, she is likely to give a good dare.

_**Edward Cullen, Forks, 8:18 PM**_

"Fuck a duck!" Alice half-screeched suddenly. Rosalie barely managed to contain herself. The shoppers in the store were all giving Alice dirty looks.

_How rude!_

_What an appallingly mannered woman!_

_Wow, she's hot. Sounds like a psycho though. Damn._

I sniggered. "Excuse me, ma'am," a shop assistant said. "Would you please either refrain from shouting profanities or leave the store?"

_**Jasper Hale, Forks, 8:21 PM**_

Wow.

I never knew Alice knew half of those words. Hell, _I_ don't know half of them, let alone know if she used them correctly. It sounded effective though, and got her escorted, kicking and screaming more profanities, from the store.

Again, if vampires could piss… it would have been Edward and Emmett pissing themselves this time. If I had dared to even smile, I would have been dead before I hit the ground. As it was, they were both getting sickly sweet smiles and death glares from Alice.

This might cut a bit of the store's yearly profit. Alice must have been one of their most reliable customers. Now, they'd lost her. She was never coming in this store again, I was positive of that. Not so much from the risk of them recognising her, because that was quite easily subverted, but rather from the shame of the memories.

Ah, the memories…

_**Esme Cullen, Forks, 8:26 PM**_

Carlisle and I were leaving. This was steadily getting more dangerous as the night progressed. It had been going on for almost two and a half hours, and already Alice, Jasper, Edward and Rosalie were severely humiliated.

Forgive me, but whatever sense of self-preservation I had was telling me to get away.

_Fast_.

_**Carlisle Cullen, Forks, 8:27 PM**_

Esme and I left quickly. Three hundred odd years gives you a rather keen sense of when backing out is safer than sticking around.

My danger sense was blaring. This was going to get messy, and fast.

Very messy, very fast.

_**Alice Cullen, Forks, 8:33 PM**_

We'd set up base in a park, not too far from the central part of Forks, once Carlisle and Esme had left. At least now we weren't censored in any sense of the word, no matter how remote. I had to pounce now, quickly, before my chance passed. I couldn't let Emmett get away unscathed. I wasn't going to give him bragging rights over Edward either.

His dare was going to be humiliating, but utterly sissy. And I knew that he would choose Dare.

A big, strong, masochistic vampire, choosing Truth? I think not.

After all, this _is_ Emmett we're talking about. I doubt he could choose Truth even if there was a smidge of common sense in him.

He's way too masochistic.

_**Emmett Cullen, Forks, 8:34 PM**_

Dear God.

That gleam in Alice's eye foretold nothing but humiliation, destruction of pride, and pain, both mentally and physically, for whoever had crossed her path and earned her ire.

Funny, but I almost thought she was going to pick Bella for a second. That would have been bad, both for Bella and the rest of us, because Edward would have killed Alice, which would have enraged Jasper, and an enraged Jasper meant nothing but trouble, for us, and all of Forks.

So that wasn't good. Then I thought she was going to pick Rose back, but she skipped too quickly over her. Then it looked like she was going to get Jasper. That was weird, but again, she moved on. Then it looked like she was going to give Ed a healthy dose of payback, but that didn't happen either.

That left…

OOOOOOHHHHHH! Sorry about the short chapter and the cliffie, but as you can see, I'm up to my old tricks again!

I don't have the time to respond to all the reviews this time, but I'd just like to say a huge big thankyou to everyone who has been keeping tabs on this story and sharing their opinions on it with me!

I love you ALL!

musical-gerbil


	5. Chapter 5

Truth Or Dare?

I'M BAAACK!

Summary: The whole gang, at the Cullen house, trapped inside on a rainy night. Add some boredom, and throw in Emmett's competitiveness, Bella's clumsy streak, Rosalie's vanity, Alice's quirky sense of humour, Edward's protectiveness, Jasper's naivety and Carlisle and Esme both in a playful mood. Oh, and I almost forgot. A game of Truth or Dare.

Disclaimer: musicalgerbil: nil. Stephenie Meyer: the whole world: aka Bella, Edward, you know… all my characters basically. If you sue me, you can take any debts I manage to incur, but I'm keeping my copy of Twilight, my laptop, and my treasured, dog-eared copy of New Moon!

Sorry about the delay. I know, a couple of months is a pretty long time… I was in Melbourne, Milang, Port Broughton… all over the place. I also developed a social life outside of my two best friends… not good for writing time. I went for _days_ at a time without sitting down to the computer! And my dad decided to start renovations, so the computer was stuck in a spot with no internet access. I was stranded with no way of accessing the Net! It was terrible. However, I figured out a way around the problem, so now I'm back in business!

Welcome to Emmett's torture!

_**Rosalie Hale, Forks, 8:37 PM**_

This was getting very interesting. Of course I was sympathetic towards Emmett. Poor dear.

On the other hand, even _I_have never heard him sing. Let alone a song like the names Edward and Alice were throwing around! Who knows, he might look rather good in women's clothes. If we can find a big enough size. Emmett's not exactly the average size for a person in their late teens. Alice was clever. I have to give her that much. She's also a rather good actress.

I think I would have been a pile of ashes on the ground if looks were flamethrowers. Actually, I'm pretty certain I would have been a pile of ashes on the ground. Alice gives great daggers. 'Specially the flaming kind.

_**Edward Cullen, Forks, 8:39 PM**_

"Britney Spears?" I suggested under my breath. Alice shook her head.

"Cher?" I tried again. Alice winced.

"Far too manly," she said, shaking her head. "We need something purely embarrassing. Something that will make him cringe even just _thinking_ the words."

A lightbulb clicked on in my head. An evil grin slipped onto my face and Alice perked up.

It was a simple choice, really. One that would bring plenty of humiliation.

_**Alice Cullen, Forks, 8:42 PM**_

"Come on now, Emmett, be a sport," Jasper said coaxingly as Emmett growled at him like a cornered animal. He _was_ cornered. He was trapped, and it was hilarious to watch! Edward and Jasper had him boxed into a corner, and Emmett was simply trying to decide which one to go after first before he pounced.

Which one got to die first, in a manner of speaking. I just wanted to laugh, because he couldn't get to me without putting himself right in Jasper's path, and I know that that's exactly what he wanted to do. I could tell from his expression that he was probably leaning towards the slightly more barbaric options.

Ones that would last longer and be more painful, that is, but if I were him, I just would have dared me to do something as utterly humiliating as what he was about to be put through.

_**Rosalie Hale, Forks, 8:54 PM**_

I came back from the maternity store with the dress that looked like it would fit dear Emmett. It was flowery and _pink_. I almost felt like clapping my hands together in delighted glee, it was so perfect!

As I came closer, I noticed that Edward and Jasper had Emmett pinned to the ground, still tussling slightly, and Bella was leaning against a tree, poised for flight. Poor human.

Alice was waiting for me, and we joined the fray, taking the dress from the bag.

Was it wrong that I was enjoying this so much?

_**Emmett Cullen, Forks, 9:04 PM**_

I was going to _KILL_. Kill, and _MAIM_. Maim and **_DESTROY_**!

Namely Alice, but Edward and Jasper were joining her. Rosalie was going along for the ride at the moment. She was the one that forced me into this fucking dress.

It's PINK! And flowery, and just plain HORRIBLE!

I was going to **DIE** of humiliation! Literally.

Especially if Alice and Edward's grins meant _anything_ like what I was interpreting them. _Especially_ then, because they boded ill. They meant nothing but trouble.

_**Isabella Marie Swan, Forks, 9:06 PM**_

I was steeling myself to witness murder.

Multiple murders, that is.

Five murders, furthermore.

Oh, and of course, I might die as well, just from hearing what I was about to hear. I mean, Cher or Britney Spears are humiliating, but he had to have expected them.

What was coming was much worse. Even _I_ had to admit that this was bad. _Very_ bad.

_**Jasper Hale, Forks, 9:12 PM**_

I was preparing myself for what was sure to be a disaster.

What was **undoubtedly** going to be a complete, utter massacre.

Especially once Emmett realised exactly what he was supposed to be singing.

Then, we were all going to die.

_**Emmett Cullen, Forks, 9:15 PM**_

I was beginning to regret ever going along with this game. I was beginning to _really, _**really**really,** _really_**, and any other combinations of the funny little text change thingies you can think of, regretting agreeing to this.

I was beginning to regret choosing Dare, especially after Alice. Because I was going to die of humiliation.

I reluctantly started my dare.

_**Random Passerby, Forks, 9:17 PM**_

Oh, dear, what was that _terrible_ noise? It sounded like a chainsaw!

A chainsaw with a truly magnificent sense of timing, albeit, but a chainsaw nonetheless.

And what was _that_? Was that what the terrible noise was coming from?

That- that _man_? Was it really a man?

It was wearing a dress, a pink flowery dress, and wobbling down the path on four inch heels.

Dear God, it really _was_ a man! But what on earth was he singing?

"_That's all they really want,_

_Some fun,_

_When the working day is done._

_Girls – they wanna have fun._

_Oh, girls just wanna have fun!"_

(Girls Just Wanna Have Fun – Cindy Lauper)

What is the world coming to?

_**Alice Cullen, Forks, 9:24 PM**_

Oh, God… I was about to piss myself. If that's even possible.

I was going to fall to the ground, convulsing in hysterics, and piss myself.

Then I was going to find a video camera and immortalise this _forever_.

Solely to torture Emmett with, of course. Not because I wanted to show the world, no. Of course not. Not even _I_ would be that cruel.

Edward, on the other hand… just say I was to lend it to him…

_(rest of Alice's monologue cut off by evil, diabolical laughter)_

A/N

Terribly sorry about the short chapter folks, but it's been _ages_. I need a bit of time to get back into the flow of the story again. Hope you enjoyed, nonetheless!

musical-gerbil


	6. Chapter 6

Truth Or Dare?

I'M BAAACK!

Again.

Summary: The whole gang, at the Cullen house, trapped inside on a rainy night. Add some boredom, and throw in Emmett's competitiveness, Bella's clumsy streak, Rosalie's vanity, Alice's quirky sense of humour, Edward's protectiveness, Jasper's naivety and Carlisle and Esme both in a playful mood. Oh, and I almost forgot. A game of Truth or Dare.

Disclaimer: musicalgerbil: nil. Stephenie Meyer: the whole world: aka Bella, Edward, you know… all my characters basically. If you sue me, you can take any debts I manage to incur, but I'm keeping my copy of Twilight, my laptop, and my treasured, dog-eared copy of New Moon!

Well, another huge delay… but what can I say? Real life got in the way.

Wow. That rhymed. How sad is that? Anyways, I'd just like to dedicate this chapter to EVERYONE who's stuck with me, despite my tardiness… Oh, and PAWFOOT, again. You were my 269th reviewer. Hehehe. You have a habit of getting in there, don't you? Well, this is especially dedicated to you, for sneaking in for the second time! Enjoy!

_**Emmett Cullen, Forks, 9:27 PM**_

Someone was going to PAY.

They were going to pay. BIG time. And I was going to enjoy it. But first… There was someone who had remained rather unscathed by this whole game, and I intended to remedy that.

Remedy it well, and _now_.

_**Alice Cullen, Forks, 9:30 PM**_

Well, I was definitely worried. Anxious or anticipative may have been a better word choice, but I was actually worried. That glint in Emmett's eyes? Well, just let me say that my visions weren't particularly _happy_ ones.

To tell the truth, I was actually _frightened_. Me, frightened… not computing too well, I'm afraid. Still, it was a sad reality, and I think that it was warranted, just for the sheer fact that whenever Emmett had that glint in his eyes, he had a genius moment.

Emmett's genius moments were few and far between, and for that I thanked whatever higher power was out there, _fervently_. Whenever Emmett's genius moments decided to occur, someone usually ended up embarrassed, humiliated, and something _always_ ended up dead. The last time it was the TV.

That was Emmett's own fault though. Really, what was he thinking? Painting Edward's car _lavender_. Lovely shade, but… was it any wonder Edward threw his TV and games console into a tree? Killed the tree too. I can only hope it was another inanimate object this time.

_**Jasper Hale, Forks, 9:32 PM**_

Hmmm. Everyone's emotions were running slightly haywire. It was gradually hurting my head.

Still, I was having fun. So were most people. Well, those who hadn't been forced to streak.

Or dress as a prostitute.

Or be dragged, screaming profanities, from a shop they adored.

Or totter down a path, dressed as a woman when they are quite clearly a _man_, in four inch heels, singing a Cindy Lauper song.

Which pretty much left Bella and I.

And I'm rather positive that Bella's reprieve is about to come to a sudden, _devastating_ end.

Actually, I _was_ positively positive that Bella's reprieve had _ended_.

_**Edward Cullen, Forks, 9:37 PM**_

Dear God.

Or whatever else is out there. Please save Bella.

Make a bolt of lightening strike down right now and maybe stun Emmett where he sits. And everyone else, so they forget what Emmett's plan is. Dear God, _please_!

I will get on my knees and beg. Bella's dangerous enough six feet _away_ from six feet away from the road! Just the thought of her _within_ six feet of the road… (_shudder_)

Let alone distracted! Emmett, what the _fuck_ were you thinking?

_**Isabella Marie Swan, Forks, 9:38 PM**_

Oh, I was going to kill Emmett.

Big, cuddly, teddy-bear-like big brother my _ASS_!

Big brothers don't do this!

You wait and see. I'll kill him. I really will. When Edward finally turns me, I'll kick his ass.

Kick his fucking ass to Timbuktu. And point and laugh.

That's it people, point and laugh.

Besides, where the hell was I supposed to find sock puppets?

_**Emmett Cullen, Forks, 9:39 PM**_

I was having _waaay_ too much fun. Really. This can't be good for my heart.

Oh, wait. Hah. Don't have to worry about that.

Edward might though. I can almost _see_ the purple in his face!

Aaah, the glee…

_**Rosalie Hale, Forks, 9:40 PM**_

Poor Bella.

I really do feel sorry for her right now.

Not enough to actually _say_ anything, but I still feel pretty sorry for her.

Watching Alice procure a pair of socks from her handbag and hand them to Bella, a gleeful expression on her face was definitely funny. Bella's expression, that is.

She looked like steam was about to come out of her ears, but then she looked to Edward desperately. "Can't you make them change it?" she pleaded. I snorted slightly, and Edward shot me a glare. "Change to Truth, if you like," Edward said comfortingly, placing a hand on her back.

Bella slumped. "But Truth's the wimp's way out!" she protested. "I have to take Dare." Jasper visibly bristled. Bella inched closer to Edward.

Smart move, human.

_**Alice Cullen, Forks, 9:41 PM**_

Watching Bella shuffle from foot to foot on the side of the road, we concealed ourselves in the sparse foliage not five feet away from her. Jasper's jumper tied around her neck as a makeshift cape, she had her head down. I could hear her murmured litany.

"Gonna kill Emmett… kick his ass… fucking _Superman_… never gonna let him borrow my Playschool videos _ever_ again… not when he _remembers the theme song_!"

I giggled.

Then slapped Emmett a high-five.

_**Isabella Marie Swan, Forks, 9:42 PM**_

Great. Here comes a car.

I strike a heroic pose, Jasper's jumper making me do nothing but feel like an even greater idiot. I had to wonder _exactly_ how much more idiotic it could get.

I noticed the car slow down, and the driver and passenger side windows roll down.

I made a valiant attempt to paste a benevolent, but at the same time condescending, expression on my face.

"Greetings!" I said in an appallingly bad imitation of a deep, rumbly, Superman-ish voice and making the sock mouth on my left hand move. "How go you this fine evening?"

The man in the driver's seat merely stared at me.

Poor guy. I suppose he doesn't get regularly accosted by girls wearing jumpers around their necks and trying to be a _superhero_! Fucking Emmett.

The bastard was going down.

As soon as I was a vampire.

_**Jasper Hale, Forks, 9:43 PM**_

I almost fell over laughing when Bella struck her pose, but that was nothing compared to when she made to move, and tripped flat on her ass.

I could hear Emmett laughing. Bella spared us an evil glare, spread her legs wide and sang, still in the imitation of Clark Kent's voice, moving both the sock puppets' mouths:

_Open wide,_

_Come inside,_

_It's Play-School!_

This had to go down in history.

I was writing a book about tonight.

And by God, I was going to get it published.

Hehehehehe.

Did everyone like? I hope so! Oh, and I have a friend of a friend to thank for the Playschool quote. I've recently been enlightened as to how full of sexual innuendo that children's show is… hmmm. Disturbing.

musical-gerbil


	7. Chapter 7

Truth Or Dare?

You're all gonna kill me…

Summary: The whole gang, at the Cullen house, trapped inside on a rainy night. Add some boredom, and throw in Emmett's competitiveness, Bella's clumsy streak, Rosalie's vanity, Alice's quirky sense of humour, Edward's protectiveness, Jasper's naivety and Carlisle and Esme both in a playful mood. Oh, and I almost forgot. A game of Truth or Dare.

Disclaimer: musicalgerbil: nil. Stephenie Meyer: the whole world: aka Bella, Edward, you know… all my characters basically. If you sue me, you can take any debts I manage to incur, but I'm keeping my copy of Twilight, my laptop, and my treasured, dog-eared copy of New Moon!

Well, people, vampires, werewolves and my faithful readers… I am sorry to inform you that this is the epilogue to _Truth Or Dare_. Yes, this is the END! Everyone has been suitably embarrassed, humiliated and blushing within an inch of their (well, you get the gist) lives. This isn't the last of me, I swear! _Notes_ is still going, and I promise you that a new fic will be up soon!

I really just have to thank you all for being such great readers. I am eternally grateful for all the praise and encouragement you've all given me throughout the months of _Truth Or Dare_! I wouldn't have been able to do it without you all!

_**Carlisle Cullen, Forks, 9:59 PM**_

Esme and I glanced up as the six tumbled through the front door.

Bella was yelling at Emmett and pointing rather forcefully at her own rear.

Rosalie and Alice were advancing on Edward, who was backing steadily away from the piano.

Jasper stood there, looking rather smug.

Esme, beside me, cast me a bewildered look.

I studied the scene before me for a few more seconds.

"I am unbelievably glad that we left when we did," I remarked.

Esme nodded fervently.


End file.
